"Righter's Day?" the man asked. "No, I'm left handed. You righties have it easy enough without getting a holiday, too! I'm part of a persecuted minority-"
"No, no, I don't mean 'right' as in the opposite of 'left,'" I said. "I mean 'write' as in to use words to convey a message or story, such as writing a novel."
"Oh. That's different," the man said. "Still, why do we need a special holiday just for writers?"
"An excellent question!" I said. "On Writer's Day we would remember the wonder and joy we receive from the written word and celebrate those who bring the written word to us! And we'd mail cards to our favorite writers, wishing them a happy Writer's Day."
"Ugh. You mean I'd have to celebrate Lenny, the CFO, who keeps sending us long-winded memos about using pens until they run out of ink, tells us ten paper clips a week should be a gracious plenty or says we should print out our emails and read them with the computer off to save power?" the man asked.
"Um, no. Lenny isn't the kind of writer I had in mind," I answered. "I meant to celebrate the giants of literature such as William Shakespeare, Mark Twain, Edgar Rice Burroughs and Bruce Bethke."
"Aren't those guys all dead?" the man asked.
"Bethke's not," I answered.
"But I've never read anything by him," the man said, "so why would I send him a card?"
"It doesn't have to be just one of those writers," I said. "You can send cards to any writer whose work you enjoy!"
"Maybe, but I don't read novels," the man said. "I don't see what I'd have to celebrate."
"Do you read comic strips?" I asked.
"Sure! That's my favorite part of reading the paper on the subway," the man said.
"Then send a card to writer of your favorite comic strip," I said.
"Wait, someone actually writes those things?" he asked.
"The words have to come from somewhere," I answered.
"Imagine that," the man said.
"Or you could send cards to the writers of your favorite TV shows or movies," I suggested.
"You're telling me someone writes those, too?" the man asked. "I thought the actors made it all up!"
"Have you ever read anything written by an actor?" I asked.
"Yeah... It was kind of stupid," the man said.
"I rest my case," I said. "So, how about signing the petition?"
"I'm still not sure," the man said. "What kinds of cards would people send to their favorite writers?"
"Ah! I have a couple of samples with me right here!" I said.
"Here's another one," I said.
"Those don't seem very friendly," the man said.
"Friendly? No, you've got the wrong idea! They're funny!" I said. "See, we give our favorite writers a chuckle. Just like the chuckle they give unpublished geniuses every time we ask them to critique our work. Yes, exactly like that! Now the ingrates will get a chance to see just what it's like to have no-talent hacks telling them their work sucks! Oh, yes, I can see it- Hey, where are you going?"
"I'm, uh... I'm late for a meeting. Or something. Got to run!" the man said, all the while backing slowly away from me.
"Don't you want to sign the petition?" I asked.
"Maybe some other time," the man said before turning and scurrying away.
"Some people..." I said before turning to another passerby. "Ma'am? Would you sign a petition?"
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